What question are you afraid to ask yourself?

I’ve been sitting on this post for a long time. In the spirit of naked, bold un-confidence and authenticity, here it is.

I sat there, head in my hands, for what felt like a very long time.

I let out a sigh – I needed to move on. I couldn’t let this keep getting to me. [Read more…]

Why you’re stuck and nothing is working

So you’ve made up your mind to eliminate a bad habit. Or build a good one. To change something about your life. Make it better.

You want to lose weight and feel good in your skin again.

You want to get organized and stop procrastinating.

You want to make your business more successful.

You want to wake up early and be productive.

You want to cultivate the habit of mindfulness and become more zen.

You’ve gone out, done your research, and immersed yourself in books, websites, and “friendly advice”. You’ve tried a dozen different diets, snoozed a million times, taken more business courses than your wallet can afford, and only become more frustrated in the process.

No matter what you try, nothing seems to change. You’re stuck, and you’re ready to throw yourself on the floor and stomp and cry like a toddler because nothing. is. working, dammit!

I’ve been there. [Read more…]

How to sell yourself

I am great at selling. I sell things, other people, and random products like they’re the next best thing since sliced bread.

But when it comes to selling myself, or something I made?

Oh, hell no.

I disappoint myself on a daily (okay, hourly) basis. How am I supposed to tell someone else I will be worth their time and money and keep a straight face through it all?

But if you’re an entrepreneur (and not only if you’re an entrenepreur, but especially if you are one) selling yourself and what you create is a part of your day-to-day life. If you want to be successful, you have to know your own worth, say it loud and say it proud.

Being sick and tired with my own apparent inability to sell myself, I’ve come up with an exercise for gaining confidence in yourself, seeing what you’re really worth, and learning to sell yourself. It’s simple (all the best and most effective things are), but powerful.

Ready? Let’s go.

[Read more…]

The truth about disempowering beliefs and how to defeat them

Have you ever told yourself that you’re stupid or ugly?

Have you ever looked at yourself and told yourself how fat and lazy you are?

Have you ever given up on a project because you didn’t believe in yourself enough?

You’re not alone.

Virtually every person in the world has told themselves something they shouldn’t have. There is no one in this world who hasn’t at least once made a self-demeaning comment to him or herself.

Disempowering beliefs are not only painful, but also dangerous. They can cause you to abandon many projects that could have made a positive impact on your life. Fortunately, they’re not impossible to defeat. Click play to learn three truths about self-defeating thoughts and how to remove them from your life.

In summary, your disempowering beliefs…

1. …come from your ego trying to dissuade you from changing

2. …do not belong to you

3. …will stick around for as long as you continue to feed them

They don’t look nearly as daunting when you see what they’re really made of, do they? 😉

What disempowering belief will you eliminate first?

 

Want more energy? Simplify your life!

I’ve been really tired lately. Part of it was because of a nasty stomach bug. Part of it was just burnout.

I’ve been doing too much, throwing myself too much into work, business, and friendships. And when my life gets too busy, I not only get excited, I also get seriously stressed out.

Sometimes I feel like I’m the worry-queen of the world. Seriously. If I don’t have anything to worry about, I can easily manufacture something to worry about.

Do worries sell? I could make a fortune with this. Oh wait, the press already does. Nevermind.

Thankfully, I was able to change that around pretty easily.

You see, I live intuitively. What that means is that I do whatever my body (and soul) tells me is right for me. So I took some time off from really working on Link to Yourself (there’s a lot that goes on behind the scenes!) and focused on reconnecting with myself and honoring my feelings.

I love taking time for myself, because it allows me to see what I’m doing that doesn’t resonate with me, as well as what I’m not doing enough of that really does resonate with me, and change my plans accordingly. Sure, I’m taking some time away from working on my business and maintaining friendships. But I’m OK with that, because doing less stuff but staying true to myself brings me more benefits than doing more stuff that may or may not be in tune with my feelings and values.

In short, I don’t like living my life in the dark. When I constantly maintain my connection with my true self, I make infinitely better choices. End of story.

Now that I’ve mesmerized you with this wonderful foray into my (utterly boring) life, let’s get down to business and talk about energy. More specifically, why you’re lacking energy, and what you can do to get lots more of it.

Download the Action Tracking Worksheet. I’ve already pre-filled it with an example of one of my own mornings 🙂

In the end, it all boils down to three steps:

  1. Figure out your energy drains
  2. Discriminate ruthlessly
  3. Simplify your life

Of course, there are a myriad other things I didn’t include here that you should be doing like getting enough sleep, exercising, and eating real food. But, even if you haven’t nailed these basic energy-growing habits, I trust that through this three-step system you will realize how important they are and get the motivation you need to start doing them regularly.

If you’re going to do nothing else, I want you to at least track your life for at least one day and choose one thought and one action that you will eliminate. Then commit to it. Planning is worthless without action!

How will you simplify your life to create more energy?

 

Is hooking up safe?

This past weekend the New York Times released an article about women in college and their preferences for hooking up rather than dating. You can read it here.

Penn is my alma mater, which means it’s very close to my heart. This article didn’t really sit well with me. In general, I feel that it unfairly (1) selectively singles out Penn and (2) generalizes from the girls it quotes to the entire female student body. But, of course, I understand the temptation of piggybacking on the reputation of an Ivy League school for publicity. Next time maybe try Princeton, and ask “Penn mom” to give advice?

(I should mention here, in case that joke didn’t hit home, that Penn and Princeton are rivals.)

Snark aside, this raised a very important question in my mind. Just how safe are hook-ups and one-night stands anyway? Initially it seems like an easy and harmless (with proper precautions) way to de-stress and have your needs met all at once. The next day, you’re back to the hustle and bustle of daily life. No consequences. Right?

Of course, it’s never that simple. Modern technology might have provided ways around the physical consequences of (willingly) hooking up, but we still possess a monkey brain behind all of that civilized intelligence. And this monkey brain may just retaliate in the most unexpected ways later on.

In this video, I explain how this combination of hooking up and monkey brain can spell bad news for your future emotional well-being. (please excuse my bad hair day… we all get ’em!)

Unfortunately, you can’t measure the consequences of hooking up. They blend in along with everything else you experience and show up in tiny ways in day-to-day mostly unconscious behavior. Shame is a tricky little devil. It sneaks up on you and strikes just when you least expect it (and you most often don’t even realize it). Unless you have a policy of complete authenticity in your life, there’s always going to be some shame hanging around waiting for you to address.

What’s your take on this?

How to stop being jealous

Growing up, I was very competitive. While I loved my friends and wanted what was best for them (and helped them achieve their goals as much as I could), I also wanted to be the best.

You know how it goes… “I’m happy for every achievement you have, as long as your achievements are not greater than mine.” The ugly truth.

Over time, of course, I learned to work with these little demons of mine and stop comparing myself to others (which is, let’s face it, the main cause of jealousy). That is a big task, and it can take years of practice to master. I am reminded of that reality every time I feel that knot in my stomach when someone else just happens to stumble into success… and I still seem to be here slaving away with seemingly zero results.

But, like you, I don’t like being jealous. I never wanted to be jealous in the first place. It’s just this ugly feeling that creeps into my soul and shows up in the worst circumstances – the times when I want to be there for my friends and be truly happy for them.

Fortunately, I’ve found a system that works for me when I find myself in the throes of jealousy – it might work for you too.

Before you roll up your sleeves, here are two things you should understand about jealousy first:

1. Your friend has probably worked a lot harder than you think. Chances are, they didn’t just stumble into success half-assing their work. They worked their butt off. Maybe even more so than you.

2. You are jealous because you compare yourself with others. You compare yourself with others because you’re insecure and have the self-defeating belief that by being “better” than those around you (by what standards, anyway?) you will command more respect, appreciation, and acceptance. Chances are, once you finally do get ahead, you will realize what an empty illusion this is. But, for now, it seems very hard to shake.

Now that you understand what jealousy is made of, click play on the video below to learn what you can do to let go of your jealousy and be truly happy for your friends.

Jealousy is a nasty little demon… but when you understand why it happens and take the right steps, you can successfully let go of these feelings and get back to your cheery old self.

Do you struggle with jealousy? What do you do to help yourself let go of it?

Eliminate negative emotions from your life

I am a student of life.

There is something to learn in everything that happens to me. Sometimes it’s a lesson in gratitude and joy; other times in humility and introspection. As the roller coaster goes up and down, I try to stay on my toes and be receptive to the lessons hidden behind every moment.

Last week, life delivered another lesson. Someone said something that upset me. I tried to shake it off and be zen, but it didn’t work. It stayed with me. Like a mosquito bite, I kept wanting to itch it, but I didn’t want to engage in negativity. I wanted to just let it go.

Well, as it turns out, there is one step you always need to take in the process of letting go. Press play on the video below to learn all about what it is and how to use it.

This was the perfect lesson because I realized I was missing an important step in the process of letting go. The beauty of this is that, had I not let my ego take over and prevent me from allowing myself to feel these negative emotions, I would have never discovered just how important this exercise really is.

I can’t think of anything more human than simply allowing yourself to feel the emotions that come over you. It’s also the best self-discovery handbook you can have.

So, next time you’re feeling sad, angry, or upset, allow yourself to feel it. Punch a pillow, cry, or write it out. Once you exhaust the feeling, you will find there is nothing there but forgiveness and a fresh start.

Now it’s your turn… how do you let go of negative emotions?

Fulfill your potential

Everything that happens to you is exactly what you need at that moment.

Everything that comes up in life is an opportunity. Most importantly, it is the RIGHT opportunity for you at that moment in time.

Post 8 4-21-2013We are built to grow, to expand, and to allow ourselves to reach new heights of consciousness. We are made to love, trust, and believe. We are created to shine our light into this world and to live out loud.

Every experience you go through is a lesson. Every opportunity is a lesson. Every unfortunate event is a lesson. It can be a lesson in gratitude, a lesson in love, or maybe a lesson in responsibility.

By this, I don’t mean a lesson that will teach you “what you’re doing wrong” and make you regret what you’ve done or failed to do.

No, by this I mean a lesson that will allow you to grow.

Every experience is an opportunity for growth.

At any moment in time, you have two choices: to be comfortable or uncomfortable.

To be comfortable, just keep doing what you’ve been doing. Keep being average. Stay jealous. Remain a victim. Don’t do anything about it, either. You wouldn’t want to feel the pain of failure.

Unfortunately, life brings us pain no matter what. Whether you choose to be comfortable or not, it brings you the experiences that you need to grow.

What do you think will really help you grow?

That’s right, pain.

If you choose to stay comfortable year after year, life will just put you in the same circumstances over and over again – one more painful than another.

What’s the alternative?

Well, you can choose to be uncomfortable. You can say “to hell with mediocrity” and choose to dig deeper within yourself and follow your intuition and inner voice of wisdom. You can choose to work with the opportunities life brings you to grow and transform and expand rather than ignoring them and stagnating as an unhappy, mediocre, jealous couch potato.

You can keep waiting for “one day”, and being comfortable in the meantime, or you can choose to be uncomfortable now and see your life transform as you grow into the person you’re meant to be.

When you choose mediocrity and comfort, you waste precious time from your life. The more uncomfortable you are, the more you push yourself to question everything, the more you expand.

Want to reach your full potential? Want to find out just how high you can reach? Be uncomfortable. Screw mediocrity. Screw doubts and doubtfuls all around. Screw expectations. Question everything. Push yourself. Every day, know yourself a little better. Every day, love a little more. Love everyone around. Love yourself. And you will soar.

Here’s something else you need to do:

Go where your resistance takes you.

Having trouble with something? Do you always get stuck in bad relationships? Can you never focus enough to take something from beginning to end? Do you keep stumbling into this part of you that you just can’t stand?

Go there.

I’m serious.

Having trouble losing weight? Have you tried for your entire life, but you just can’t make it happen? Focus on that. Drill deep down. Why do you want to lose this weight? What’s stopping you? How is being overweight serving you right now? Is this your reality and self-mindset?

Do you keep dating useless pieces of junk? Work on that. How much do you really love yourself? How much do you think you’re worth? How is being in these relationships serving your current sense of self and beliefs about reality?

Just can’t focus? Make that your priority. Take a mindfulness course. Meditate. Understand why you’re having trouble with it, and how to either master and embrace it, or overcome it.

Where you’re most stuck, that’s where your biggest opportunity lies.

If you keep falling while trying to climb over this wall, and yet life just keeps putting it in front of you, then take that message: this is your biggest growth lesson. Make it your purpose for the next few months or years to learn it. Get a coach, read every book you can get your hands on, and be with yourself a lot.

When you finally pick that lock and open the treasure chest of this growth lesson, you will discover a miraculous key that will help you unlock so many doors to success.

That is your Link to Yourself.

Every single lesson life brings, every wall it builds in your path, is a doorway to knowing yourself better, being more in tune with your intuition, following your inner wisdom, and expanding to use your full potential.

You don’t need external validation. You don’t need outside incentives. You don’t need to focus on things that seem so boring, you’d rather jump in a deep well than do this for your entire life.

All you need to do is be true to yourself. Listen to the voice of your inner wisdom. Follow your excitement, even if it feels uncomfortable. Go where your intuition leads you.

How to be yourself – a guide

Be yourself – you’ve heard this phrase a million times. What does it really mean?

It’s at the essence of this website – Link to Yourself.

It means you are in touch with your intuition, your gut, your inner observer and your inner wisdom.

You respect and honor yourself and your needs.

The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are. - C. G. JungYou only do what feels right, and throw conventionality to the curb.

You are not afraid of judgment, because you understand that others’ judgment of you is only a reflection of their own inability to connect with themselves, and not a cue for shame.

You welcome and embrace critics, knowing that the more in tune you will be with yourself, and the more progress you will make toward fulfilling your true potential, the more uncomfortable you might make others who have not reached this level of authenticity.

You do not let yourself be held back, because this life is too short. What matters is fulfilling your potential and living a vibrant life connected with yourself – your intuition, your wisdom. You don’t have time to do what others tell you to do – only what you feel is right.

You are honest and genuine, because authenticity truly is the biggest treasure we can give to those around us. Authenticity strips away judgment and shows others a naked image of a true vibrant life.

You are not afraid to be authentic, because you know that no one can touch you without your consent. You control your experiences through your questions and reactions, and are the master of your future.

You take care of yourself, because YOU are the most precious thing you have in this life. Without a smoothly functioning physical, mental, and emotional system, you cannot do the things you are meant to do in this world, meet your full potential, and inspire and help others.

You accept all other people and look for the best in them, because you know that the world can only be a better place if we all renounce resentment and blame by taking responsibility for our lives and following our intuition and authenticity. You encourage and help others do that for themselves.

Please, don’t be afraid to be your true, naked, vulnerable, authentic, raw self.

Instead, jump right into life, wholeheartedly.

Give of yourself to others freely (but not carelessly).

Love everyone with all of your heart and might.

Be generous with your positive energy and words of encouragement.

You will live the richest life you have ever imagined. And, I promise you – you won’t regret it.